This is nothing

This is not an actual post. It is just a notification that I am in love with Matt Doyle, he is at the top of my Favorite People Ever list, and Bare: A Pop Opera should be recognized as a threat the national security for being too awesome.

But scroll down for semi-real posts!

I am in New Hampshire

(This is an old post. A few weeks after I'M HAVING A MOMENT.)

I am in New Hampshire. You may have gleaned this from the title of this post.

Anyway.

Tonight I had dinner with my grandma, my mother, and a couple who are friends with my grandma.

This couple consisted of a woman who was sweet enough, but who fell onto a small table at one point, knocking down several pictures and a lamp.

Her husband was a large bald man, who identified as "very" republican.

Because I live in a very civilized, advanced community, republicans have been a rarity in my childhood. Watching this man (Al. His name was actually Al.) was like watching some sort of primitive beast that frightens and fascinates you at the same time. Like a platypus, or Nessie.

However, hearing him actually voice political views was like watching a small, demented child poke itself in the eye with a spoon. And like with a demented child, you could take away the spoon, but they will go and find a stick or a fork to satisfy their desire for simple, repetitive movement.

When his wife told me she "knew the perfect boy for me," he eyed me carefully from his pink checkered armchair, ready to pounce if I showed even the slightest sign of lesbian-ness.

Then, when my mom said I used to be vegan, he looked positively alarmed and it took his wife unexpectedly collapsing for him to snap out of his "but...meat" trance.

During dinner, all I could think about were gay people and immigrants. I kept trying to steer the conversation back to political talk, but to no avail. However, my still emotionally-twisted mind took "gay people" to mean "THINK ABOUT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN AND FEEL PAAAIIIINNN."

It didn't work out for me.

Just to satisfy my mind, which was beginning to shrivel and die without proper emotion-feeding, I said I had to go to the bathroom and stood there, looking at Brokeback Mountain pictures until my mind started to wake up again.

Here is what my mind does when forced to think about things with this level of emotion. When they come up, I try to not think about them. It doesn't work. They are there. But they are like a person freezing in a blizzard. They get a fire and are momentarily placated. Then they lose the fire and the chill seeps back into their body.

So I have to constantly provide my sad, demented mind with fire, lest it shuts down completely and I lose all sense of personality and knowledge and sit on the floor, hugging a pillow and rocking silently.

Or screaming loudly.

Whilst poking myself in the eye with a spoon.

UPDATE: I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this post to return to Brokeback Mountain. But it did. Because I am still having PTSD from feelings-overload, and I drank a ginger beer earlier that turned out to be alcoholic and my inexperienced brain didn't know how it felt about that. Apparently alcohol makes me ramble. Also, I didn't have anything else to talk about. This is the most exciting thing that happened all day.

Seriously. If I were to talk about the other things that happened today, this would just be: "DREW PICTURES! ATE CAKE! TOOK NAP! ATE CAKE! READ BOOK! ATE CAKE!"

UPDATE: I eat a lot of cake

Soap Operas

     Soap operas are like small yet extremely poisonous spiders. Or people who have AIDS, but you don't know they have AIDS, so you sleep with them, and it's fun, but then you have AIDS.

     I am not going to expand on that metaphor.

     Instead, I will present myself as an example.

     That is probably never a safe phrase. Anyway.

     I, a few years prior to my current awesome, became entranced by the comfortable pull of my couch and found myself without a good show to watch, but also without enough motive to stand.

     Please note the start of that sentence before judging me.

     Anyway, my friend had told me of Gossip Girl, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like.

     It's about a bunch of teenagers in New York acting way older than they supposedly are. Also looking way older. Also, just being way older in general. You think they're in their twenties because they're lounging around in suits and cocktail dresses from Bendels whilst sipping whiskey on the rocks, dating incestuouly among their group of characters, closing business deals, and getting married.

     Then it'll remind you that they're all in high school.

     Yeah. Okay.

     Also, it is just...ridiculous. No one talks like that. No one wakes up in make up. No one is so rich that they can do literally whatever they want. No one-spoiler alert- accidentally kills their friend with cocaine, flees town, leaves their mother with her fifth divorce and their brother suicidal, comes back, and spends three episodes angsting about sleeping with the best friends boyfriend.

     Also, the poor people have incredible taste.

     And no one knows what they want.

     And I love it.

     I'm tangled in it's web of cheesy, fashionable drama. I have been bitten by the small spider. I have gotten AIDS from the person I didn't know had AIDS, or at the very least I didn't know I'd get AIDS from.

     I'm rewatching the show. It began two days ago, and I'm in the middle of season two.

     Right now, Nate is sleeping with this thirty year old named Katherine (who also happens to be a duchess) because she's giving him money for his family, which totally isn't prostitution, but he likes Vanessa. Blair, Nate's ex, is dating Katherine's stepson, Marcus, who is the Lord of somewhere or other. Chuck is in love with Blair but can't actually do anything about it because he's stupid. You're stupid, Chuck, just TELL her meh feelings waaah. Serena is dating Dan but only kind of secretly because some people know. Jenny likes dresses. Blair is blackmailing Katherine because Katherine is married (to a duke) but she's sleeping with Nate.

     Later, Blair dates, then marries a Prince, but he gets sick of her pretending to not be in love with Chuck, who she loves the whole show but they keep breaking up for shifty, unclear reasons, and marries her for business purposes.

     Spoiler alert, she ends up with Chuck and they have the most well-dressed baby in the history of mankind.

     I have stayed up past three AM watching this show every night this week.

     Jesus.

     And now, since I have no real ending to this post, a quote from Welcome to Night Vale.

     "Look to the obelisk. We don't know where it came from, but it's attracting a lot of cats."

UPDATE: Katherine is also sleeping with Marcus. a. He's her stepson. b. Her "sleeping with" tally is up to three people. c. I'm a hopeless girl,