I am going to list certain celebrities and my opinions of them, as I am bored and feeling fat, therefor it has become necessary to become a scary blogger who hides in a dark space, eating Nutella and dressing cats. Here goes.
Daniel Radcliffe-I don't know why you popped into my head. Maybe because you're British and I like that. You should stick with it, it works for you. Or maybe English. Who the fuck knows. Also, I heard you are going to be Allen Ginsburg in Kill Your Darlings. That's alright, but James Franco will always be Allen Ginsburg to me.
James Franco-I enjoyed watching you kiss Aaron Tveit in Howl.
Aaron Tveit- OH. MY. GOD. You are a FUCKING god. You're like Jesus, but BETTER. And Jesus makes wine from water. Thats fucked up. But I think everyone can agree that seeing you singing about how you'd live forever whilst standing before thousands of people in your boxers is like a mind orgasm.
Kim Kardashian- You...you're fucked up.
Avril Lavigne- I'm amazed that your hair hasn't gotten up and left you after how bitchy you've been to it.
Lady Gaga- See above.
Kelly Clarkson- I know waffles are good. I do. And I appreciate your music. But we all have our limits.
Neil Patrick Harris- You are like my baby.
Anne Hathaway- You are a very talented person, and capable of being very sad and singing about it. Also, you wore cool fingerless gloves in Les Mis, and I thoroughly enjoyed your performance. However, I cannot forgive you for Catwoman. I'm sorry. You're still half dead to me.
Neil Young- Stop. Just stop.
Leonardo Dicaprio- You are my other favorite sex God. I love you.
Dane Dehaal- You are one of my favorite actors of all time. You are the love child of Brad Pitt and Leonardo Dicaprio.
Taylor Swift- I used to love you. And then you made Red and I realized "Dear god...she's become a sheep."
That is all.
Goodness, I could be an entire Greek chorus all by myself.
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