I'M HAVING A MOMENT

This may be slightly ranty. I'm sorry.

I'm just very EMOTIONAL right now.

Why?

I'm watching Brokeback Mountain. 

It's 1:13 in the morning and I'm watching Brokeback Mountain. 

Being tired makes me emotionally vulnerable. I know this. It is a fact of my life. But tonight I decided, against my better judgement, to watch THIS MOVIE, of all the movies out there. 

And now I'm constantly pausing, shutting my computer, and flailing my arms around in the dark while whisper-shouting "Oh my god! Oh my god! This is so amazingly tragic and beautiful!"

Yes. I whisper-shout-called Brokeback Mountain tragic and beautiful.

If you disagree with that analysis, fuck you, I don't care. I'm allowed to freak out and  make metaphors out of everything I see. And I'm allowed to christen anything as adorable. Even gay mountain sex.

I love this movie. Don't judge me.

Also,  I am going to be constantly coming back and venting my feelings.

1:30

FUCK YOU ALMA

Who cares about your lonely soul?

Also, Jack would rather be with Ennis than Anne Hathaway

This is saying something

I'm having intensely conflicted emotions

JACK IS COMPLICATING EVERYTHING

AND ENNIS NEEDS TO STOP BEING TRAUMATIZED BY HIS PAST

Actually it's adorable, he just needs to stop being traumatized over someone killing an old gay man in his town when he was nine so that he and Jack can buy a farm and live happily ever after.

1:32

OH MY GOD ADORABLE FACE TOUCHY THING OH MY GOD MY BABIES I WANT TO HUG YOU BOTH

1:35

I HAD TO REWIND AND WATCH THE FACE TOUCHY THING AGAIN

1:40

In which Alma is a bitch and Ennis is bad with kids

1:47

Hey! Alma was Glinda in Oz the Great and Powerful

And according to IMDB, she was blonde sheep-girl from Dawson's Creek

Small world

1:48

Wait...

One minute Alma and Ennis are having sex and the next they're in a court room and she's getting full custody? Did I miss something?

ENNIS MY BABY

ALMA YOU BITCH I WILL RAPE YOU WITH FIRE

I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WOULD WORK BUT YOU'RE MAKING ENNIS CRY AND THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

1:53

Can you say bad timing?

I feel sad and scared and hopeful and SAD and melancholy (fun word) and CONFLICTED

2:48

NO NO NOOOO WHAT SUPREME MIND FUCKERY IS THIS I'M DYING

I CAN'T LIVE IN A WORLD THAT ALLOWS THIS TO HAPPEN

tears

they are flowing

i can't even bring myself to capitalize or punctuate

that's how distressed i am

i am going to die

i actually think i'm going to die

there are just too

many

feelings

AAAHHH LET ME LOVE YOOOOOUUUUU

UPDATE: hehe I saw Anne Hathaway's boobies