This is what happens when you talk to me about Pilates.

So. Today, people I know were emailing me about creeks and such, and despite my attempts to make the topic more interesting by talking about deer licking houses, the conversation drifted to horrifying topics, like yoga and Pilates. Then someone said to someone else "love you too, bud." after they bonded through the revelation that both did Pilates. Or something. But, I was bored, and having just eaten a pound bag of candy, I responded with this:

Well I hate you

No I don't

(yes I do)

Shut up, no I don't

I didn't say anything 

You think just because you're in parentheses you cant be seen?

No (yes)

I see what you did there

No you don't, it was in parentheses

Shut up. You're not even real.

There's no need to be hurtful

I can be hurtful to you, you're just a figment of my imagination

(bitch)

I can see that

(no you can't)

Yes I can

We're going back to a topic we already covered

Yes, we are. So?

So it's stupid and will just end in more hurtful words

Not if you restrain your mean side

You ARE my mean side

What are you implying?

You are a part of me

Seriously? How could you keep that from me?

I tried to tell you, but you said I was being hurtful

Wait, so that means you're just talking to yourself right now

Now I'm confused. If I'm talking to myself, how am I unconsciously responding?

Have you ever heard of multiple personality disorder?

Yes. But I don't have it. Maybe YOU have it.

That doesn't make any sense

None of this makes sense

Yes. You're right. You're just retarded

(bitch)

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